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What Fat Acceptance Means to Me

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Fat Acceptance, Health At Every Size, Size Acceptance, Body-positivity. So many titles, so many abbreviations, for what is, at it’s core, the same idea: To accept yourself, to accept others, to show respect. Not everyone wants to use the same terms, and we all have our own reasons for that. Body-positivity and size acceptance are more all-encompassing terms that say not only is it okay to be fat, but it’s okay to be thin, or tall, or flat-chested. You are fabulous and worth loving no matter what. Health at Every Size, as the name implies, tends to focus on the idea that you can be healthy no matter how big or small you are, and that you can’t determine someone’s level of health or fitness from their size. I love all these terms. They all serve to spread a message of positivity and acceptance. For me, however, the preferred term will always be Fat Acceptance. It’s selfish, really; I am fat, and want to be accepted as such. I want all fat people to be accepted as such. Now, some people have a different idea of what Fat Acceptance means. Some think it means disregarding health, or hating on thin people. So to let you get to know me better at the start of this fabulous new year, here is my breakdown of what Fat Acceptance means, to me. 

 

1. Healthy-for-you. 

 

My fat acceptance is not anti-health. Who would be anti-health? That’s just silly. I never felt better than when I was working out regularly (and I was still fat, by the way) and I love drinking water and eating green things. Cheesecake made with green food coloring counts, right?  However, I believe in healthy-for-you. I believe that not everyone can, or should feel they have to, work out for the same amount of time or eat the same foods to be considered healthy. People have different needs. Not everyone can take a thirty-minute walk every day because they have a bad knee. Not everyone can go vegan because they are allergic to soy. And honestly, I don’t give a damn. We get to make our own choices about what makes us feel the best. 

 

2. Or not healthy at all!

 

What’s that? You don’t want to exercise at all and you always skip breakfast? No hate from this corner! I do not, as a general rule, believe that human beings have any obligation to be healthy at all if they don’t want to be. My only exception to this rule is if you are someone’s parent or guardian, then I do feel you have an obligation to take care of yourself to the extent that you are able to fulfill your responsibilities to the person who depends on you. That goes for many things, however, like not smoking excessively or playing drunk water polo, which I just feel would end badly. Generally, I think humans can tell when they feel like shit and what they need to do to stop feeling like shit, if they so desire. What it comes down to is choice. Not to mention the fact that many fat people do in fact make healthy decisions but people assume they don’t, because they are still fat. 

 

3. No exclusions! 

 

I may prefer the term fat acceptance, because yes, that is what I focus on. But that does not mean I don’t think you are beautiful and worth accepting as well! I do not hate on thin women for being thin, I do not hate on people because of their height, I do not hate on people’s chest sizes, and I think you deserve the same respect that I am asking for. Yes, we may be talking about fat right now, but a conversation about fat does not mean I hate people who aren’t fat. 

 

4. Real women have whatever they want!

 

When I was a wee fatty, somewhere around late middle school, I heard the term “Real woman have curves” for the first time. And yes, I fucking loved it. I loved it because I had been told my whole life that my body was wrong and ugly and not worth loving. Now suddenly here was a message that I was good, and right, and beautiful. Fear not, dear reader, I have long since changed my tune. I fully comprehend the negativity of that phrase and how it excludes and hurts so many women. I completely understand how anti-trans this message is as well, and that is not a train I want to be on. If you’re a woman, you’re a real fucking woman. Thin hips, small ass, flat chest, facial hair, big breasts, fake breasts, one breast, hairless vulva, no vulva at all. WOMAN. I will never say “Real women have curves”. Never ever ever. It’s hurtful and a slap in the damn face. 

 

5. Maybe just treat me like a person, ok?

 

What always strikes me when people argue against fat acceptance is that, whether they realize it or not, they are arguing against treating certain human beings with basic dignity and respect. Don’t moo at me from your damn car window. Don’t roll your eyes if you have to sit next to me on a plane. Don’t assume you know what I eat or how I treat my body right when you meet me. Don’t make rude comments when you see me getting seconds at dinner or eating raw vegetables. I’m a person, and I deserve to be accepted, fat and all. 

 
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2 responses »

  1. The Real Women Issue:

    I think that the “Real Women have Curves” has harmed both fat men and women. Both fat men and women have curves, fat men’s curves not being as numerous or exaggerated as fat women’s. What I find damaging is the fact the body shapes of fat men and women do overlap, yet any body shape any fat women possesses is automatically classified as “Curvy”. I believe this is part of Fat Acceptance’s need to classify all fat women as “Real Women (curvy women)”. None of this would matter if Fat Acceptance did not follow Society’s lead and setup “beauty standards” that fat women have to live up to.

    As a fat guy I am very attracted to fat women who are very apple shaped, who share a lot of body attributes with fat men. maybe it is the similarities and differences that I am interested in.

    Reply
  2. People will treat you how you treat yourself, both mentally AND physically.

    Reply

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